Your Stars

with Cystic Peg

Aries (March 21 - April 20)
All aries women should, especially if a Virgo man asks. You may make a trip, watch out for high kerbs.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)
Ladies, you have to learn to separate the men from the boys, use a crowbar!!!!

Gemini (May 22 - June 21)
Uranus is still rising. Stop it or it will slip out. Beware of men in suits - EDF again.

Cancer (June 22 - July 22)
An old bike could cause problems this week. Do not give her your phone number.

Leo (July 23 - August 23)
Friday looks good for you. But remember, he left Robinson Crusoe, so he is a bit fickle. BEWARE!

Virgo (August 24 - September 22)
A full moon may influence your actions. Be careful, those silver bullets can sting a bit!!!!

Libra (September 23 - October 23)
You will find that the scales tip your way this week. Take a tip, DIET!!!!!!!!!

Scorpio (October 24 - November 22)
Girls, keep quiet about a financial gain or the taxman might come before you do!!

Sagittarius (November 23 - December 21)
Mars may cause problems this week, especially if you eat too many. Your lucky number is seven, you lucky ladies.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
All good looking men should stay at home on Saturday, it will give the ugly blokes a fighting chance.

Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
A good week for all Aquarians, but wait till next week you smug gits!!!

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Be kind to your neighbour, stop sleeping with his wife. And you fellers could do the same as well.

Cystic Peg, who died in 1957, communicates her horoscopes through Dane Valley Ted by means of a hamster and a small piece of broccoli.