Crime Update

with Roger Oldtwat

Many people are concerned about terror and terrorists. But as a former member of the security services, I would like to reassure you that the powers that be are doing everything they can to combat this evil menace.

I would like to reassure you, but unfortunately I can't. Truth is, in my day, we used to round up the usual suspects, then let them go after 48 hours. Shows you're doing something. These days they shoot first, and round up later.

Best advice I can give you is don't come back from your holiday with a heavy tan and go down the tube in a duffle coat.