by Barry Chuckle
Splash out this bank holiday weekend with a trip to B&Q! As well as a complete range of paint and paintbrushes, there's plenty of power tools and lawnmowers to keep the little 'uns happy.
For the more serious minded, there's the chance to have a blazing row in public with the missus over which tiles to put in the downstairs bog. And if you're lucky, you can combine your visit with a trip to the nearby QEQM Hospital by gashing your head on one of their overhanging metal displays.
And remember my golden DIY rule: never nail-gun your nuts to a power saw!